I’ve written quite a bit about how we as unmarried folk who believe God is calling us to one day marry should be preparing for marriage now. I’ve written about how we should love our future spouses now, and not wait until we are actually married.
Well, I think I should probably put my money where my mouth is. So, I’ve decided to start a new series talking about what I am doing to try and prepare myself for marriage. This is kind of scary for me, because I’m not used to really talking about myself so much on this blog, and also because I will suddenly have a lot more accountability. No slacking off!
Additionally, even for those of us who have the gift that Paul had for singleness…we are all still being prepared for (or should be preparing for) our future marriage to Christ (more on this in future posts).
While some of us may not participate in an Earthly marriage, we the body of Christ are destined for a future marriage, and preparation needed for that eternal marriage is very similar to the preparation needed for a temporary marriage.
I’ve decided to title this series “Mission Marriage Mondays” because I will be detailing my “mission” to become “prepared” for the “mission” that is marriage…on Mondays.
Additionally, I like the more militaristic sounding word “mission”. Thinking of preparation, and marriage itself, in such terms helps solidify the serious nature of such an undertaking for me, and the necessity of taking intentional steps toward reaching a goal. In our culture today we don’t really think about marriage or love as being something we can practice for.
We have gotten the romanticized notion in our heads that if we just feel strong enough positive emotions (“love”) toward the one we marry, then all will be well. That’s like saying, “If I just want to be an expert violinist bad enough, then the first time I pick up a violin I should be an expert at it.”
Yeah, no. That’s not how things work. Success, in just about any area of living, requires intentional living.
If you were setting out on a mission into enemy territory to try and accomplish a great feat or victory…would you just wing it? Would you say, “Well, I just FEEL so strongly about this mission, and I just REALLY want it to be successful, and I am just in love with my country, so that should be enough to be successful.” Of course not! You would spend months if not years training for this mission! Why don’t we train for marriage the same way?
I think it’s because we don’t understand the purpose of marriage. Most of us don’t even understand that marriage is something that can be prepared for. I have looked around at my life and have realized there is much more I could and should be doing to prepare, so this series is one step I’m taking to help myself take action. I’m very laid back, and a person who just likes to go with the flow, but this won’t fly in marriage.
Our culture wants us to believe that if you just find the right person everything will go smoothly and marriage will be a walk in the park, but that’s not true. It takes hard work and sacrifice.
Marriage is a battle, it’s a war, but not a war in the way marriage cynics say it is. It’s not a fight against my spouse, but a fight against myself and my flesh which says I’m more important than she. It’s a fight to the death, but what needs to die is my old self.
Plus, I also like this more masculine approach to marriage because, well, I am a man.
I’m also calling this series Mission Marriage Mondays because alliteration is the bomb (no pun intended).
All of my blog posts, really, have been as much directed at me as anyone, but this series will especially be directed at me. This is a series I’m writing for my own benefit, and to force myself to be more intentional (yes, I’m just selfish), though I hope others will benefit as well.
I’m not a marriage expert. I’ve never been married. My views on what I say in this series may even change once I’m married. I’m not writing as an authority, but I am writing as one who is making discoveries while on a journey.
So far, my discoveries on the truths of marriage and love have come from the Bible, my parents, the many books I have read on marriage, and my own experiences and observations on marriage and marriages.
With this series, I’ll be sorting out questions I have about marriage, fleshing out my beliefs on marriage, and highlighting my own struggles and efforts to become better “prepared” and equipped for the mission to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church. So if you are interested in tagging along, by all means, tag along.
Are you seeking to love your spouse even before marriage? What are you doing to prepare?
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