My Husband Told Me To Stop Trying To Make Money

26 years ago, my husband told me to stop tryingMy Husband Told Me To Stop Trying To Make Money: Coastal Conservatory to make money. 

“Leave the money-making to me,” he had said. Now here I am running a home business that is doing far better than any of my wildest dreams would have predicted. What happened???

When my husband and I first married, we were dead broke (though maybe not as bad off as the Clintons when they left the White House).

Though unaware at the time, we later learned that we were actually below the poverty line and could have received food stamps and other government assistance.

Yet, we didn’t mind! We had no idea we were poor! We were young and in love!

However…in this lay the problem: I wasn’t seeing my husband enough.

At first, we both worked jobs outside the home, but when I became pregnant, I was often too sick and had to quit. Once we had our first baby, I knew I needed to stay home and be a mom, so I did not pursue a job outside the home, though I did earn some extra money through providing day care.

However, what I really wanted to do, ever since middle school, was have a home business. This was truer now more than ever. I didn’t want my husband to have to go away to work; I didn't like him being gone all day. I wanted him to be home.

Because of this desire, I was always trying to think of what businesses would allow me to bring my husband home.


It can work!


I found one opportunity that looked very promising: selling coupon books.

The way it worked was there were "coupon clippers"  who would cut all the coupons out of magazines and newspaper inserts and send them to a broker. The broker printed coupon booklets filled with order forms. Then, distributors would sell the coupon books to their customers. Each week, the customer could fill out an order form for the exact items he planned on purchasing in the near future.

It was a brilliant idea! The broker made money, the distributors made money, and the customers saved money! (Although looking back on it now, it probably was illegal…)

I participated in this business back in the old days before the internet or online marketing. I had to put ads in magazines, and work through the mail. That is to say, snail mail. No email. I thought it was a ton of fun! I enjoyed it, and it was like Christmas morning when I would go out to the mail box and a find a check with my name on it.


Then I lost everything…


Another opportunity came along, also related to coupons. For this enterprise, people could buy a coupon book to redeem and get cereal at about $1 a box when it was normally $3 or $4 a box.

What made this discount possible was that it was subsidized by advertising. Advertisers paid to have their flyers included in each package, which is what allowed the consumer to get the cereal dirt cheap. It also was a win-win for everyone, so I decided to take part, and I promoted it the same way I did the previous business. I gained a lot of customers and it was, again, super fun getting checks in the mail!

But then the unthinkable happened...the company stopped fulfilling the cereal orders.

They weren't sending out the cereal! I made repeated attempts to contact them, but couldn't get a response.  I even tried contacting the Better Business Bureau and Attorney General, but neither were able to help.

I was shattered.

Here all these customers had trusted me, and now I couldn't give them what they had ordered. My husband told me that the only right thing to do was to give all their money back, so that's what I did. I lost a lot of money.

At the time, I thought it must have been a scam (and still do, although I suppose there is the slight possibility that the business just folded), and I felt extremely bad for having promoted it. I felt my integrity had taken a hit, even though I wasn't the one responsible for fulfilling the order. I was completely devastated, and it led to a lot of tears and stress.

My husband saw how terrible that experience was for me, so he told me to stop trying to make money, and to leave providing for the family up to him. Even though I still wanted to pursue my dream of having a home business, I agreed he was right. I thought I would never try to run a home business again, and for 20 years, that’s what happened.


A new season of life


For the next 20 years, all my focus was on my children and family, and I never tried to start another home business, that is until 6 years ago when I found a product I  fell totally head-over-heels in love with: the flexi clip by Lilla Rose. It was the very first hairclip I had ever seen that worked in my super-thick hair without breaking...and it not only worked in thick hair, but in baby-fine hair as well. It was a totally break-though product that no one has come even close to since. I was hooked, line-and-sinker, for life.

I started out as a customer, but after I lost my beloved flexi clip on a camping trip, I desperately searched the internet for where I could get a replacement.

That’s when I found out I could sign up as a consultant.

Not only would I be able to get a discount on flexi clips for myself, but I could also get paid just for referring others to Lilla Rose. I knew that others would love the flexi just as much as I, and in fact, ladies had already been asking me where I got my hair clip!

Two other things happened around the same time as I found out about this opportunity

One, my favorite blogger just announced that she was opening up her blog to advertising, and two, friends of ours announced that they were planning on pursuing adoption.

I knew that the blog's audience was comprised of ladies like me, and would love the flexi! And here could possibly be a way to support adoption, a cause very near and dear to my heart.

With my husband's agreement, after 20 years, I gave it a try, but not investing more than I could stand to lose. So I started small with a $50 ad, which actually seemed like quite a bit to me. I asked myself, “Am I willing to lose $50? Is it okay if I don’t make a single sale?” I decided, absolutely! I liked the blog so much that I was okay with losing it all; it would have been just like a donation to a great ministry.

I went ahead with the adoption fundraiser, and it worked! I turned a profit, and made money for our friends so they could eventually adopt. This experience showed me that this business could work.

Since then, my business has exploded and grown beyond my wildest dreams! (Click here for a free 10-day course on how to build your own business online).



Moral of the story: listen to your husband


Listen to your husband.

Since then, there have been times when he has told me I needed to cut back and…I didn’t.

I felt I had too many responsibilities, too many people counting on me and relying on me in the business, I couldn’t just cut back…yet that backfired. I didn't listen to my husband, and it caused problems with my family and children.

When running a home business, you have to remember that your family is counting on you too, and they come first.

Ironically, my husband ended up joining me, and now we're partners in the business along with our children! I'm still hoping that he can eventually quit his other job, though he does now work from home, and has done so for many years.

The success of our home business selling Lilla Rose products has given us so many more opportunities.

For example, one of my sons is able to pursue music production and lead a ministry for young Christian writers, while a daughter is able to have an art studio.

Additionally, family home business is not just about helping your own family, but you can help support missionaries, adoption, or any number of other causes you believe in.

You can also train others to help support their own families, and the ads you buy help  bloggers support their families as well.

Even more valuable is the friendship and support that comes from the other consultants you meet and interact with along the way. Consultants are there for one another in good times and bad.

The opportunities to bless others are endless!


The right time and the right opportunity


It pays to listen to your husband and wait for the right time and the right opportunity.

Back when we were first married, there weren't as many opportunities, and there certainly wasn't the virtual online world to market through.

Continuing to pursue a home business at that time could have led to even more disastrous outcomes.

I could have become jaded, and maybe I would have never gotten into selling Lilla Rose at all!

There are different seasons of life, and you can't do everything at once.

Maybe now isn’t the time for you to try and run a home business. Maybe now you should spend all of your time focused on your children. I know I couldn't have run my business the size it is now with  several young children.

Wait for the right time and the right opportunity. Once you find it, the rewards are incredible!


If you'd like to work with me and Lilla Rose and would like to know more, just click the button below!

Learn How You Can Work With Me!


Linked up at:
Raising Homemakers
A Wise Woman Builds her Home

Cornerstone Confessions

Time Warp Wife

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  1. We’re all SO glad you gave up couponing Paula 😉
    Great article!

    • Yes, I used to be a self-proclaimed “Coupon Queen”! It was a part-time job in itself! I don’t miss it at all!

  2. Um, wow. I’m not sure how to even begin with a comment! lol. I love your honesty. I love that when you were young you set out and tried something new and was willing to invest in yourself. I don’t think this tactic (leave all the money making to the husband) is both realistic today for most families or fair. Not to mention what happened to You! You had ambition, you had focus, you were reaching out for higher things and growing as a person. And then you stopped, after a failure. And you lost 20 years!!! of being able to keep that ambition and learning and growing going. Can you imagine how your life would be right now, if you’d kept trying? (I mean this comment in the nicest way). I see 20 years of lost opportunity and personal achievement. What if something happened to your husband during those years and you had no income of your own to care for you and the kids. Women need to have their own thing, their own careers for themselves if for no reason other than that. Perhaps a generation gap is our difference. : ) And that life today is differnent. Few families can live on just one income.

    • Um. wow. I’m not sure how to even begin to respond to your comment! lol
      I really could write a book (or at least several blog posts) to explain my views on issues you brought up, as there is so much I did not say in this short story.

      My 20 years were far from “lost,” as I gained so much more! Those years were spent raising and homeschooling my 7 children, which I would not change for the world! If I’d kept trying, yes, I can imagine my life right now…and it certainly wouldn’t include the great marriage I have now, or the 7 wonderful children who bring unspeakable joy to my life every day. 🙂

  3. I’m so glad you found something that you love and that works for you. I’m hearing a lot about Lilla Rose these days, they seem like a great company!

  4. Great post and great advice! My husband said the same thing to me many years ago when I’d been a restaurant manager and my home was in shambles. I shudder to think how the children would have fared and where our family would be if I hadn’t heeded his advice and came home to care for my home and family full time. And now the time is right that the girls and I get to do this blogging thing together. I am really loving this blog, Paula!

    • Exactly, Cheryl! For everything there is a season!

  5. Thank you for sharing Paula! Just to think if you had not decided to become a Lilla Rose consultant I may have not either since you are part of my Lilla Rose upline genealogy. I think my husband is now on board with the business since he sees I do what I love and get to bring happiness to others with hair jewelry:-)

  6. This is an awesome story, not only about your home business but working together with your husband and setting boundaries. I am working to set up side streams of income to assist our family as I put my hubby through school with cash. Thank you for sharing your success story. #SmallVictoriesSundays

  7. So bold of you and so honest. Love it! Way to own it! Thank you for linking up with #SmallVictoriesSundayLinkup 6/21/15


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